


memories that stick with me

by civillove



Series: seblaine prompts from tumblr [91]
Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s04e18 Shooting Star, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/civillove/pseuds/civillove
Summary: request for the episode 4.18 ‘shooting star’ with seblaine as a couple--Blaine sighs as he opens up his locker, resting the lock along a stack of notebooks as he pulls a few things to put into his satchel for the afternoon.“Why are you sighing?” Sebastian asks, voice vibrating against his eardrum as he holds his phone between his ear and his shoulder. Although he can’t see him, Blaine can sense the eyeroll. “You never had a problem with being the center of attention before.”
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: seblaine prompts from tumblr [91]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/82780
Comments: 6
Kudos: 99





	memories that stick with me

**Author's Note:**

> -alternate s4 where seblaine are dating (obviously), the episode isn't going to be the same either.   
> -element rewrite but the episode concept is the same. title is a lyric from ‘too young to grow old’ by Lxandra  
> -tw: school shootings (for descriptions of school shootings, though no specific violence occurs)

Blaine sighs as he opens up his locker, resting the lock along a stack of notebooks as he pulls a few things to put into his satchel for the afternoon.

“Why are you sighing?” Sebastian asks, voice vibrating against his eardrum as he holds his phone between his ear and his shoulder. Although he can’t see him, Blaine can sense the eyeroll. “You never had a problem with being the center of attention before.”

“I’m just…” He stops himself from shrugging his shoulder so that his phone doesn’t clatter to the floor, using his hand to hold it after he’s done with his satchel. “Not in the mood.”

There’s a pauses before Sebastian scoffs, “Not in the mood to celebrate your birthday.” It’s not a question and Blaine chews on his lower lip. “Yeah, can you put my boyfriend on the phone, I dunno who I’m talking to.”

A soft smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, “I don’t need anything fancy—just my parents, you, an ice cream cake…” He picks up his lock and plays with it between his fingers.

“Is this about NYADA?” There’s another eyeroll in Sebastian’s tone and Blaine kinda hates that he knows him so well, that he can sense when he’s preoccupied with something else that’s important. Though, he supposes he’s been rather obvious about it.

“Blaine,” He says carefully and slowly, like he’s trying his patience even though his voice is warm. “No matter when NYADA gets back to you about your audition, you know you’ve got it in the bag. If _Kurt_ can get into that school, the bar’s pretty low anyways.”

“Sebastian,” Blaine tuts and he hates that his boyfriend always manages to make him smile, even when he’s not being the nicest but…luckily he’s on the phone, so he can deny it if he has to.

“You deserve a break,” Sebastian interrupts before he can be scolded, “You certainly work harder than anyone in that petri dish of a public school.” He can hear the nose scrunch, a smirk slipping from Blaine’s lips. “I’m not going to beg you, unless you’re into that sorta thing.”

Blaine closes his locker and shakes his head, a gentle, fond smile on his lips as he sighs dramatically for effect. “ _Fine_ but nothing extravagant, Seb, I mean it.”

“Alright, I’ll cancel the strippers.” Blaine’s not about to get a word in about that because Sebastian’s already hanging up the phone, “I got a test next period, love you, bye.”

Blaine rolls his eyes as the line beeps, signaling the call is over. He looks up as Tina walks up to him, a bright smile and long hair curled at the edges. “Was that Sebastian talking about your birthday party?”

He scrunches his nose, eyebrows drawing together. “What party?”

Tina’s mouth makes a small ‘o’ shape before she shakes her head, “Which I know nothing about.”

He sighs and tosses his head back towards the ceiling before throwing his arm around one of his best friend’s shoulders. “You guys really didn’t have to put anything together.”

“We didn’t,” She assures him with a smile as they walk towards Glee club, “You know for a guy who’s never had a boyfriend, Sebastian’s effort is pretty impressive. He must really be into you.”

“I’m a catch, what can I say.” Blaine responds wryly, leaning back against the doorframe of the classroom. Knowing Sebastian, though, he probably just wants a decent blowjob for his troubles.

His hands settle onto her shoulders, squeezing, trying to give her the best doe eyes possible. “Tina, as my best friend, you have to tell me what he’s planning.”

She gently pushes on his chest even though it does nothing to take his hands off her, “That’s not fair!”

Blaine pouts, jutting his lower lip out a bit dramatically, “Come on, _please?”_

They’re both laughing as Mr. Schue approaches them from inside the classroom to encourage them to take their seats so Glee club can start when a resounding _bang_ disrupts the three of them. His hands slip from Tina’s shoulders and at first he thinks it’s nothing but someone obnoxiously shutting their locker door but then it happens again and it’s _closer._

Mr. Schue grabs them, not at all gentle and shuts the door, turning the lights out. He feels himself slip deep into his body, almost as if he’s on autopilot as he observes the world around him because—why is everyone upset? Why is Mr. Schue encouraging the other members of Glee club to help him move the piano and chairs against both of the classroom doors?

“I’m sure it was nothing—” He hears himself saying because it _can’t_ be the thought in the back of his mind. This is some prank; this is some sort of overreaction. All those moments where he’s felt like a leader, able to take charge, start slipping to the floor like melted ice cream around his ankles.

He just _stands_ there until two hands, Jake, land on his shoulders and begin pushing him away from one of the doors.

“Does someone really have a gun?” Marley asks, voice choked. “This can’t be happening.”

Kitty is against the wall, crying, her hands over her ears while Unique sits with Ryder and—and Tina is trying to get Artie up and out of his wheelchair and onto the floor. When he sees her struggle, that seems to prompt Blaine into action, moving quickly and quietly to put the locks on the wheels and help her lift him onto the floor. He sits then, wrapping his arms around his knees as he looks around at the faces of his friends.

Are these…is this it?

He shakes his head almost violently, drawing his knees further up into his chest, the fabric of his jeans digging into his waist uncomfortably but he can’t seem to stop from wanting to make himself smaller. He can’t think like that.

How long do they sit like this? Unmoving, no one speaking except for a few people crying. Jake’s sat down next to Marley who is inconsolable, wrapping his arms around her and holding her against his chest.

A stark realization hits Blaine so hard that he nearly hits his head against a stack of chairs as he sits up because, “Sam isn’t here.”

“ _Shh!”_ Someone yells at him from across the room and he tries to stand because _no,_ he’s not going to be quiet that his other best friend isn’t here.

“Mr. Schue, Sam isn’t here.”

His teacher shushes him gently, his hands moving to squeeze his biceps and force him back onto the floor. “I know, there are some other students who aren’t here either. We can’t go looking for them. Not until its safe.”

Blaine blinks at him, something heavy and sick sitting low in his stomach. _Safe?_ What if— “But…”

Tina covers her mouth, a sob slipping through her fingers as Mr. Schue’s eyes bore into his own, the words repeating over and over in his head even though he’s not speaking to him anymore. Blaine gives a soft head nod as he sits back down, looking at the floor as his teacher moves towards the door again to make sure it’s reinforced.

He swallows thickly, putting his chin on his knees as his hands repeatedly run through his curls, dislodging the bit of gel he has in them. Blaine can feel his body start to shake, small tremors running through his muscles as he listens for _anything_ happening outside the room. He stares a hole into the ugly white tile beneath his shoes, sniffling when his eyes pinch with tears.

He tries to convince himself not to cry, to bite down hard on his tongue and find his center because…everything is going to be fine. The room is barricaded, he trusts Mr. Schue to keep them safe, there’s nothing else to do. That feeling of helplessness destroys the walls he has inside of himself, the bricks and mortar that tell him he can handle anything thrown his way, his ability to do well under pressure completely deteriorating before his eyes.

Every small sound sets Blaine’s nerve endings alight; the reverberation of running, of other students checking their locked doors but not being let inside. Maybe what’s even worse is the utter silence that follows, digging underneath his skin and peeling it back from his bones.

There’s a fear he’s never felt before welling in his chest as he looks across from him and sees Tina crying—wanting to comfort her, hold her hand, kiss her cheeks, _something, anything_ and not being able to move.

He desperately wants Sebastian, the feeling so overwhelming that he nearly throws up, acid burning at the bottom of his throat. He rolls his fingers against the palms of his hands to steady himself as he takes out his phone. Mr. Schue, somewhere in the distance, encourages them to tweet, text, call, and get the word out that this is happening at their school.

Time passes even though he’s not sure how much. He feels like he’s been sitting in the same spot for hours even though he’s sure it’s only been twenty or so minutes, maybe even less.

Blaine’s lockscreen is of him and Sebastian at Dalton—something that Nick took a picture of when they both weren’t paying attention. Some sort of Warbler meeting that Blaine crashed. Both of them have cups of coffee in their hands, Sebastian’s arm around his shoulders while Blaine molds into his side, sitting on his lap. They’re speaking to one another but…Blaine can’t even remember what they were talking about.

He bites down hard on his lower lip to keep it from wobbling and goes to his recent calls, tapping on Sebastian’s name.

The call goes straight to voicemail.

Blaine feels panic well up in his chest cavity, a soft whine slipping through his lips because _no,_ Sebastian _has_ to pick up. He tries calling him three more times before he remembers that Sebastian mentioned taking a test and…and he shut his phone off. Blaine’s not going to get through.

So on the fourth call, he leaves a voicemail, his words shaking out of his mouth as big fat tears finally press down his cheeks, “’Bastian,” He sniffles, “Something happened at s-school and…I don’t know,” He licks his lips, “I don’t know what’s going on or what’s going to happen. But I’m _scared_ and I wish you were here. I love you.” He feels embarrassment lick at his nerve endings about how pathetic he must sound, quickly ending the call and putting his phone down before he wipes his face.

Tina makes a soft hiccupping noise, trying to push her hair away from sticking to her cheeks but failing miserably. “What if something happened to Sam?”

Blaine swallows and shakes his head, finally shifting so he can sit next to her. His limbs feel stiff and it seems weird to move his body when every thought in his head is telling him to sit still. But he can’t watch his friend like this anymore and not do anything about it.

He wraps an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into his chest. She instantly folds, her fingers grabbing onto the black sweater he’s wearing today and holds onto it like a lifeline. “Sam’s going to be just fine,” Blaine says after a moment, his voice stronger than he feels, “Just like us—we’re going to be okay.”

“Will you both _shut up.”_ Kitty snaps from over in her corner, the entire rest of the Glee room shushing her afterwards.

Blaine tries his hardest not to dislike people but Kitty, in general, is just _something else_ when it comes to being a decent human. He knows that everyone is dealing with this in their own way but her attitude is ironic, seeing as how Kitty couldn’t stop crying when this whole thing started. He glares at her, gently rubbing Tina’s shoulder as she tries to pinch her sobbing into smaller sounds.

“Yelling at her isn’t going to help.” Blaine throws right back in a hushed whisper. “Mind your own business.”

The last thing he wants to do is destroy a sense of camaraderie in this room when it’s all they have but he’s not going to put up with Kitty trying to belittle Tina when she’s having trouble getting her emotions under control.

He’s not sure how much time passes, how much longer they’re going to have to sit there. Blaine feels his body tense up every time someone runs down the hallway, when the doorknob jostles as another student tries to get in, begs to be _let in._ He squeezes his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose, Tina quiet and still against him, head on his shoulder.

Blaine knows it’s only a matter of time before the police come and eventually that’s who ends up telling them it’s safe to move. They unbarricade the doors and walk quickly and quietly, single file, hands up at their sides as they head through the school and outside. Once they’re past a certain line of police cars, Glee members run to other friends, to teachers, to parents waiting in the parking lot.

“Blaine!” He turns quickly at the voice, a shudder of relief leaving his body as he sees Sam by the school buses.

He _runs_ to him, doesn’t care what it looks like or that he practically knocks Sam over when he throws his arms around him. Sam is holding him just as tight, arms crushing his ribs as he buries his face in his shoulder and curls.

“You’re okay.” Blaine isn’t sure whether he says that out loud or not, it’s been repeating in his head the moment he’s touched Sam but his friend lets out a soft laugh against his body and responds.

“Yeah, dude. I was stuck in the bathrooms and some teachers got me outside instead of into a classroom.” He pulls back and his hand touches Blaine’s face before resting it on his shoulder. “I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about Glee club though is…everyone okay?”

Blaine nods and sniffles, finally allowing himself to smile even though it feels weird on his face. “Yeah, everyone is okay.”

He feels Tina before he sees her, she comes up behind them and gets right in the middle, snuggling in-between both of her friends and holding them tightly to her. Blaine smiles and presses a kiss to her hair before leaning in, allowing his eyes to close as he memorizes what it feels like to have both of his friends be okay…and what it could have been like to lose them forever.

\--

His mother eventually picks him up, stuck in the long line of parents in the parking lot taking their kids home from McKinley. The car feels weird and alien to him even though he knows it shouldn’t. She hugs him tightly and peppers kisses into his hair and on his cheeks and he assures her all the way home that he’s okay, because he is.

It could have been a different outcome that was way worse but…he’s alive, he’s not injured, his friends are safe and well. They still have no information about how this happened or who it was but Blaine finds himself without the energy to care as the car pulls into the driveway.

When the front door opens, Sebastian is on his couch with his father, waiting for him to come home. He’s still in his uniform, driving straight from Dalton and Blaine feels an emotion that he’s never felt before well in his chest at seeing him.

Like a giant wave crashing down onto a boat in the ocean, swallowing it whole.

He hugs his father tightly and tells his parents that he’s not hungry for dinner, that he’s tired, that he just needs to lay down for a little to right himself. He promises he’ll talk to them when he feels like he has his head on straight.

In all honesty, Blaine just doesn’t want them to _see_ him like this—completely wound tight like he’s being mummified by his emotions, holding himself together _just barely_ to get through.

When Sebastian follows him upstairs and closes his bedroom door, Blaine sits down on the corner of the bed and lets himself break in half. It’s slow at first, just a soft sniffling and tears slipping down his cheeks, his boyfriend kneeling down in front of him so he can get a good look at his face.

Sebastian rubs his thigh, fingers curling around his knee, “I’m so sorry I didn’t get your voicemail until later.” He whispers and Blaine shakes his head because he’s not…he’s not upset with him, he’s not angry, his nerves are fried from being scared and suddenly relieved because he’s _okay._

He covers his mouth when a sob slips out, eyes quickly squeezing tight as Sebastian moves to sit next to him. He quickly draws Blaine into his chest, lying down on the bedspread to get a better hold of his boyfriend. Blaine slips closer, arm wrapping around Sebastian’s waist tightly, holding on like a lifeline as he cries.

Sebastian shushes him gently, doesn’t try and get him to talk, hands moving up and down his back and through his curls and massaging against the muscles of his shoulders and neck in constant comforting patterns. He presses kisses along Blaine’s forehead and the bridge of his nose, holding him together as he falls apart.

\--

Blaine must fall asleep at one point because the next time he wakes up, it feels late. He’s groggy as he moves, running a hand over his face as he realizes that he’s in bed, under the covers. He licks his lips, his throat dry as he swallows and looks up at Sebastian who’s in the space next to him. He’s sitting up against the headboard and reading a novel, probably for school.

When he senses he’s awake, he dogears the page and sets the book down, gently smiling down at him. “Hey.”

Blaine feels a soft smile tug the corners of his mouth, “Hi,” He whispers, clearing his throat. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Few hours, you were exhausted.” He runs his fingers through his curls, scrubbing at his scalp. “Your parents let me stay the night.”

“In the same room?” Blaine asks, a soft tilt of amusement to his voice as he turns a little to lie on his back. “The day must have really gotten to them too.”

“Well I have to hurry up and lie on the floor when I hear them coming down the hall,” Sebastian smirks, “I’ve already dinged my knee against your nightstand twice, but it’s worth it.”

Blaine smiles, something that finally feels genuine and takes Sebastian’s hand off his head so he can press a kiss against his wrist. He then moves to sit up, pulling the covers back because he’s still in his clothes from school and he…wants to get out of them.

Sebastian watches him undress, Blaine pulling on a comfortable pair of gray joggers and a white t-shirt. “Do you want me to look for something that you can wear?”

Sebastian shakes his head, “I can just strip down to my t-shirt and boxers, it’s fine.”

“What a sight,” Blaine teases, even though there’s no energy to his voice.

His boyfriend grins, “While being completely naked sounds tempting, I don’t think that’d go over well with your parents.”

Blaine smiles and chews on his lower lip, “Probably not.” And tosses his clothes into the hamper in his closet before making his way back to bed. He crawls under the covers and leans against the headboard, their hands automatically finding one another’s and lacing their fingers.

“You hungry? You should probably eat something.”

Blaine shakes his head, resting his head against his headboard. “No, I don’t think I can.”

“What about a cup of tea?”

He nods eventually and Sebastian presses a kiss along his forehead before he leaves the bed and goes downstairs to the kitchen.

\--

Once he’s up, Blaine finds it hard to go back to sleep, even when drinking decaf tea. He talks through some of what happened at McKinley with Sebastian, feeling bad for keeping his boyfriend up even though he doesn’t seem to mind. He listens to every moment of it, keeping their hands touching as a point of contact, Sebastian playing with a few of his fingers and squeezing his wrist when Blaine sounds like he needs it.

He just…doesn’t know how to explain everything that he was feeling, isn’t sure how to put it into words. He can’t imagine going through something like this with an outcome that’s completely different, completely _devastating._ He shudders to think about it.

“When everything was happening,” Blaine says after a slow sip of tea, “All I wanted was you.”

Sebastian lifts his hand and kisses his knuckles, “I’m here now, you’re okay.” There’s a soft silence that sits between them but it’s not uncomfortable, Blaine finishing his tea and setting it down on the nightstand. He’s tired but his body feels wired, like bolts of electricity are moving through his bloodstream.

He doesn’t want to close his eyes.

“I can’t imagine…” Sebastian clears his throat. “Going through something like that. But I’m also having trouble with the idea that I could have lost you.”

Blaine lifts his head, watching his boyfriend very carefully because… _oh._ He hadn’t thought about that, about the opposite side of this, of not being in McKinley but experiencing it all from the outside. About Sebastian receiving that frantic voicemail and hearing what happened at Blaine’s school through the news, about frantically calling his parents to see if he was okay—

about moments where Sebastian might have thought something had happened to him.

“I’m okay, just like you said.” He says softly, inching closer to Sebastian on the bed. He presses a kiss to his temple, to the bridge of his nose, to the cheekbones that have a splattering of freckles. “Can’t get rid of me so easily. I love you.”

Sebastian adjusts his body when Blaine moves, the shorter settling in-between his long legs. Blaine leans back against his chest, closing his eyes as Sebastian wraps his arms around him, willing sleep to come even though he’s not sure he’ll be able to.

But that’s fine, even just lying here against his boyfriend is more than enough.

\--

Time continues on, slowly but surely, and Blaine takes more and more steps into feeling like himself again. He talks everything over with Sebastian, with his parents, with Ms. Pillsbury, and his friends and settles into the fact that this was just a bad blip in his life. The school culture changes around him but maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing if it keeps everyone safe.

Sebastian makes several comments about how Blaine should transfer back to Dalton but he knows he’s mostly just kidding. Unfortunately, something like this can happen _anywhere_ and Dalton isn’t any safer than McKinley until there’s better gun control laws. Blaine knows Sebastian’s commentary is mostly because he wants to be able to keep an eye on him and he loves that but…he’s gotta be able to live his life, he can’t be afraid every time he drives to school, walks to class or hears a loud banging from lockers closing.

He was having nightmares for a while but over time those stop too, especially when he calls Sebastian to talk about them. He eventually accepts that this is just something he has to live with and that he’s grateful for everything turning out okay when not everyone is so lucky.

Sebastian finally relents into Blaine’s wishes of having a simple birthday which includes cake and his living room couch, even though his boyfriend is taking _forever_ to leave Dalton. Blaine’s stopped by to see some of the Warblers and grab a coffee before they drive back to his house but Sebastian’s forgotten his blazer in the senior commons.

“I’ll be quick, birthday boy,” He says and Blaine rolls his eyes but there’s nothing that’s _not_ fond about the action as he follows Sebastian through those familiar hallways. “You like strawberry ice cream cake, right?”

“Sebastian, I _know_ you’re not putting this ice cream cake of mine in jeopardy because if you want that blowjob, it better be chocolate—”

And just when Sebastian pushes the doors open to the senior commons room, everyone inside yells _surprise!_ Blaine gasps, genuine shock at not expecting this to happen as he looks around the room, Sebastian hanging to the side with a wide grin.

The space is filled with friends and family—his parents, Tina, Sam, Jake, other members of New Directions, all of the Warblers, Nick and Jeff sharing smiles with one another and holding balloons. Mr. Schue and a few of his teachers that he likes are there too in the corner and he sees _Cooper,_ who crosses the room and pulls him into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday, Squirt.”

Blaine’s at a loss for words for a long few moments, syllables trapped in his throat and under his tongue because…while he may have considered Sebastian not canceling this party he put together, he never suspected something like this.

“You…I can’t believe you flew all this way.” He smiles, squeezing his brother before he pulls back.

“I had a few days off from my latest set of IKEA commercials,” He grins before putting his hand down on Sebastian’s shoulder and squeezing, “And your boyfriend is very convincing…not to mention it seems like he lets you dress yourself, so.”

Blaine feels a dark red blush kiss his cheekbones before he playfully pushes Cooper away, moving to hug other people and say hello. He makes a small circle around the commons before finally making it back to his boyfriend who’s by the cake table. A chocolate ice cream cake on ice, waiting for Blaine to make the first cut.

“So you didn’t invite Kurt?” He teases, making Sebastian narrow his eyes at him.

“Cute, I’ll have you know I _tried_ but he practically reported my Facebook message as spam.”

Blaine rolls his eyes but smiles, “I can’t believe you did all this.” He wraps his arms around Sebastian’s waist to pull him close.

The taller hums, pressing a kiss to the bridge of his nose before whispering in his ear. “I _really_ want that blowjob later.”

Blaine smirks, feeling a shiver course down his spine. “Duly noted.” He mumbles before kissing him gently. He swallows, fingers pressing into the panes of his boyfriend’s back and he waits a moment before pulling away, wanting him to know that he’s serious when he says, “I love you.”

Sebastian smiles and kisses his forehead, handing him the cake knife to make the first cut. “I love you too. Happy birthday, B.”

Blaine grins as he makes a wish, cutting the first slice of ice cream cake as his friends and family clap and begin singing ‘happy birthday’. He doesn’t make a wish because he doesn’t need to—everything he wants and needs is right here in this room.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i'm over at blainesebastian on tumblr


End file.
